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I 'm going to go to hell...
O n Wednesday the 26th of March, 2008 a.d.
at 03:05 pm
  Music  :  Ben Folds Five - Your Redneck Past

I didn't have to work today. 

Instead, I spent my morning watching videos on youtube.

It's gotten me into a strange mood. My last (first?) post in this journal was about Newsies. In the last couple days, I've been terribly caught up with searching for things related to the cast of Newsies (most of all, of course, being Dominic Lucero).

I have gotten this longing-- a homesickness that I don't know how to describe. I'm not really sad, persay, but it makes me tired to think that things can never go back. Because rather than for a specific place, instead I'm homesick for a certain time.

I guess it's because I was a kid then, but I got to thinking about how great the late 1980s and early 1990s were. 
And the strange thing is I don't even want to go back to my youth. I'd never want to re-do my life; I don't regret any decisions I've made.
But I just sit and watch videos and yearn for the chance to have been a part of things (as an adult?) back then. And, of course, to hang out with those guys that I have fangirled so long. I won't name names. (Dominic, Mark, David, Ivan.... Kevin..... etc.)

Oh man. I'm such a fangirl.
I can't believe that it's been 15 years since Dominic passed away.
And I can't believe that I still haven't forgotten about him, even though I never even got to meet him.

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N ewsies
O n Sunday the 23rd of March, 2008 a.d.
at 04:26 pm
  Mood  :  nostalgic
  Music  :  Paula Abdul - Cold Hearted

I'm on quite a trip down memory lane. For whatever reason, I found a bunch of writing of mine from a while ago. As much as it embarrasses me, I do write fanfiction. However, since last August my real life has been much to busy to participate in any real fan activities. I don't have time to really do any sort of drooling like I used to.

This weekend, though, with my boyfriend out of the house and all of the cleaning, cooking, and laundry out of the way, I went through my old writing folder. I came upon Newsies

Now, let me tell you, the writing I came across was some things I had worked on back in 2004. I was glad that I'd never finished these stories and had somewhere to put them up because, let me tell you, they're pretty terrible. 

But 2004 was not the first time I'd drabbled in Newsies worship. No, not by a long shot. All the way back in the mid-to-late nineties, when I was in middle school and beginning high school, Newsies was my first real connection with internet fandom. (Well, slightly before that I'd been really into Sailor Moon, and made some terrific friends from Canada who I spent hours chatting with when I was supposed to be asleep, but that was really something else since it was only the three of us talking.) 

Back in the day I had one of the first Newsies websites. And, being that at that time I was tremendously into drawing cartoons, the page was called Mako's Newsies Gone Anime. I remember making friends with other teen and pre-teen girls who had the hots for the 20 odd newsboys while at the same time learning how to html code through notepad, Microsoft Frontpage, and geocities site builder. Back at that time I was so very, well, optimistic and, well, energetic. 

I made my website before there were such things as DVDs. And boy, did I spend hours upon hours watching my VHS copy of Newsies. In fact, at that time, there were so few websites that I took it upon myself to become the screen-capture messiah for the Newsies fans. I remember vividly saving up all of my money to buy a Snappy. This was a device that let you hook up an old camcorder to your computer and capture stills from video. I had hundreds of captures from the movie, and looking back now they were not too shabby. Some of the old, old Newsies websites still have some of those stills up. It's amazing to think of how much has changed and how much effort it took to make screen captures back then. (As a note: as I'm typing this I remember that I did the same thing for the Mighty Ducks movies and had a web page for that fandom, too, though never as big.)

I was part of one of the first Lodging Houses in which five other girls (ShoeGoil? Alley Kat? Waterbug? And several more....) and I pretended to be newsgirls ourselves, writing bad fanfiction together and pretending we were dating our respected boys. Actually, as a sign of things to come, I don't believe [and I may be wrong here] that my Mary Sue ever hooked up with the boy she liked. Let's see.....

My OC was named Spry Edwards (I think her last name was Edwards, at least). She was tall and fast and quiet with grey eyes and long dirty-blonde hair. I know I had started a fanfic about her that had been on my webpage. If I remember correctly, in my originality, her past was that she had been orphaned after her father's business associates had killed the rest of her family. Somehow she had managed to escape and had to go undercover as a newsboy in order to survive on the street. [Though, I must say, that though I was quite delusional I wasn't delusional enough to think that she could live in the lodging house with the other boys. She lived in a rented room until she got hunted down by assassins or some other nonsense.] She ended up being ~*~best friends~*~ with Bumlets, and I believe there was some sort of extreme unresolved sexual tension (or as sexual as a 13-year-old girl at that time would have dared to write).

I know somewhere back at my mother's house there's sketchbooks upon sketchbooks filled with illustrations of the Newsies and Spry somewhere. (Unless they've been thrown out by now.) 

Yes, I know for a fact that I was an (or the?) original Dominic Lucero internet fangirl. (Not that he has tons of fans now, or anything, but looking around it seems that he does now have a few sites dedicated to him. That's really great, considering he passed on back in 1994.) While all the other girls wanted Mush or Blink or Jack or Spot (and how they all wanted Spot!) I was content with a character whose only line in the movie was "The best!" and who most people didn't know existed. Actually, Dominic still holds a place in my heart. (I tell myself that it was him that gave me a soft spot for black hair, and I'm probably right.) 

Um.... as to where exactly I was going with this entry, I'm not sure.

It seems that over the years my website was loaded over with some other crazy ideas that I had. I have no recollection of whatever it was that caused me to delete the old files-- probably embarrassment over the word "anime" which still haunts me to this day. And considering that the e-mail address I used to make the website no longer exists, and that you can no longer log into old geocities pages without giving yourself a migrane, all the old pictures, files, and bad fanfic that are possibly floating around in that account will be lost forever. Makes me kind of sad. 

Oh well. I'm having the urge to think up some epic Newsies fanfic; I don't wonder that somewhere out there, there's a fandom. Too bad it's probably made up of girls who were just like me back in the day, only ten years younger who have never seen Roundhouse and object on "da grounds of Brooklyn!!"

If only I had all of my DVDs here, and not at my mother's house, I would be watching Newsies right now. I'll have to go torrent searching, as I'm 100% sure that I won't be able to find it at the store here.

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